Aqua Teen Titans Force
by inverse03
Summary: The Titans have another enemy to face. Also, they have some unexpected help
1. Chapter 1

It had been a month since, what the Titans called, "the incident" but they managed to recuperate. They lived as though nothing had happened and it seemed to go well. Robin was in training when he heard a knock on the door.

"Who could that be?" Robin asked himself. He went down to the door and opened it; he was in for a surprise. At the door was a giant milk shake container, a box of fries and a wad of meat; the thing that surprised him the most was that they were animate.

"Yeah, is this the apartment that we found advertised in the paper," the shake said holding up a newspaper at the classified ads. On this page there was an ad saying, "Rooms available. Live inside a Gant Tee; nice view of the ocean too."

Robin obviously knew who did this and shouted, "Beast Boy!"

"It wasn't me," Beast Boy said as he came to the door.

"Well explain this," Robin said and showed Beast Boy the ad in the paper.

"I can explain that," he said.

"Well, how about this?" Robin said pointing to the food items.

"Well, I can't explain _that_," he said.

"Maybe we should talk about this inside," the box of fries said.

"But I want my frickin' room now," the shake said.

"And I want my free internet access," the meatwad said. "Also we get free cable."

They got into the Titans living room when Cyborg walked in. "Beast Boy," he shouted, "did you mess with my stuff again?"

"I haven't messed with your stuff for a long time," Beast Boy said. "So I put an ad in the paper, but I only did it for this." Beast Boy showed the guys the newest moped model. "I've been saving up for months but I needed more money, so I decided to rent out some of the rooms in here that we weren't using."

The girls walked in and Raven said, "I'm assuming Beast Boy had something to do with this."

"How'd you guess?" Cyborg asked.

"Just a hunch," Raven said.

"What are you guys anyway?" Starfire asked.

"Ooh, ooh, can we do the musical number?" the meatwad asked.

"No Meatwad," the fry box said, "we'll do this the old fashioned way. My name's Frylock, the shake over there is Shakey, and that meat wad over there is Meatwad."

"Ooh, the Meatwad is so cute," Starfire said.

"Oh, sure; take the meat wad's frickin' side," Shakey said.

"Anyway," Frylock said, "We don't have any money so…"

"We'll pay you with food stamps and gum," Shakey said finishing Frylock's sentence.

"I can't buy a moped with gum!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"What about watermelon flavored gum?" Meatwad asked.

"Deal," Beast Boy said.

"I also have this Ouija Video Game," Meatwad said pulling out a video game from his body.

"I think I like this relationship," Raven said.

"Alright, you guys can stay," Robin said, "but you've got to try your best not to get in our way."

"Besides, we're super heroes," Beast Boy said.

"Hey we're super heroes too," Meatwad said.

"Yeah, except we don't have super powers," Shakey said, "and we have no motivation either."

"Actually, I can whip up some good machines that could help you," Frylock said.

"So you can rig up a positronic gauss cannon?" Cyborg asked.

"Both positronic and negatronic," Frylock answered.

"I think we can work something out."

"Don't forget about our meals that are included in the package," Meatwad said. "I need four square meals a day 'cause I'm a growing boy."

"And none of this 'tofu' stuff," Shakey added, "I hate that crap."

"You might be in some trouble," Raven said.

The alarm sounded and Shakey shouted, "I didn't do it! I was framed; framed I tell ya!"

"Relax," Cyborg said, "it's just our alarm that tells us when trouble hits the city."

"There's something going on at the Art Museum," Robin said. "Let's go."

"We can go too," Frylock said.

"Yeah it would be great learning experience," Meatwad said.

"And I can take a few hours off of my community service hours," Shakey added.

"Just try not to get in the way," Cyborg said.

"Alright," Frylock said. "ATHF…"

"Teen Titans…" Robin said.

"…Go!" Robin and Frylock said.


	2. Chapter 2

They arrived at the scene to find it to be a mess; the museum was in shambles. It appeared to have been done by explosions, huge ones at that. "Are you sure this is a museum," Beast Boy said, "'cause I think someone has bad taste in art."

"Not again," Cyborg said as Beast Boy finished his lame joke.

"So, who do you think did this?" Frylock asked.

"Looks like the work of Le Blanc," Robin said. "Let's split up: Star, Cyborg, Frylock, come with me; the rest of you follow Raven." They split up into their representative groups and headed off to find Le Blanc.

"Why do you get to be the leader?" Beast Boy asked Raven.

"Because I'm smarter than you," she told him.

"See that, why can't you accept my abuse like that Meatwad?" Shakey asked.

"That's because you always hit me and threaten to staple my mouth shut with skewers," Meatwad told him.

"Let's go," Raven told the others as she headed off. Later, they arrived at the world famous painting called the Scream.

"What the hell is he screaming about?" Shakey asked.

"I think it's 'cause he saw Raven in a good mood," Beast Boy said as he looked over to see Raven glaring at him.

"Wasn't this made by Thelonius Monk, the guy with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?" Meatwad asked.

"That's a TV show," Beast Boy said.

"I've got a great idea," Shakey said as he pulled a sharpie from his person and drew something on the art work.

"What is it?" Raven asked.

"It's Sinbad performing live," Shakey said.

"It makes sense to me," Raven said. Behind them was something getting closer to them. It was right behind them, breathing down on Raven. "Beast Boy, stop breathing on me," Raven said.

"It wasn't me," Beast Boy said, defending himself.

"If it wasn't you, then…" Raven was interrupted by a snarling sound. The four of them turned around to see a Hellknight standing behind them.

"Oh my God," Shakey exclaimed, "do you know who that is?"

"Maybe we should've thought ahead about this," Raven said.

"It's Rafael Palmiero!" Shakey exclaimed.

"Who?" Meatwad asked.

"You know, he's the infielder for the Baltimore Orioles," Shakey said. "He's been taking a lot of steroids."

"You're right, and his breath smells too," Meatwad said, "he needs to brush his teeth."

"I already told you that plaque is a figment of the liberal media. It's all a conspiracy to make you use awful tasting pastes to rub in your mouth." The Hellknight roared at the quartet. "Maybe I was wrong."

"What should we do?" Meatwad asked.

"We'll take it from here," Raven said. She and Beast Boy went to attack the Hellknight but it was faster and knocked the two to a nearby wall.

"You know, you're a real jerk, y'know that Rafael?" Shakey said. "Come and get some!" The Hellknight turned to him, picked him up, and squeezed him. "Maybe…we…could…talk…some…more," he said in gasping breaths.

"Y'know you used to be a good person Rafael," Meatwad said. "Violence never solves anything man." The Hellknight stomped on Meatwad and flattened him. "Maybe, violence isn't such a bad thing," he said after the Hellknight lifted its foot up.

"Hey, pick on somebody of your own size," Beast Boy said. The Hellknight turned towards Raven and Beast Boy; they shrieked and held onto each other. "I said, 'someone _your_ size'," Beast Boy said.

The Hellknight came closer when a baseball bat knocked it down. "That's for taking steroids," Shakey said and he hit him again. "And that's for lying about not taking steroids."

"Can I try?" Meatwad asked.

"Sure, knock yourself out."

Meatwad picked up a bat and started hitting the Hellknight. "That's for talking through 'The Fugitive,' 'Schindler's List,' those Jackie Chan movies, 'Boogie Nights,' and both of the 'Nutty Professor's.' It was pretty funny in the first 'Nutty Professor' when Klump was Fatzilla and he farted and…"

"Whoa, whoa; now's not the time for scatological humor," Shakey interrupted.

"I'm sorry; I just got carried away."

The Hellknight appeared to be unconscious and Beast Boy said, "That was close." He and Raven saw that they were hugging, they screamed and separated. "That was gross!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Tell me about it," Raven said.

"I didn't know you were boyfriend and girlfriend," Shake said sarcastically.

"WE'RE NOT DATING!" Beast Boy and Raven said together. They looked at each other in awkward silence and they calmly chuckled. A call came in on the communicator; Raven answered it.

"What is it Robin?" she asked. "Is it LE Blanc?"

"It's much worse; you guys better get over here right now," Robin said.

She put the communicator away and said to the others, "We better get going."

"If you two want to find a place to make-out, we can go ahead of you and help out," Shakey said.

"Why don't you shut the hell up?" Raven exclaimed as she stomped off.

"Geez, what's up with her?" Shakey asked.

"She's always like this," Beast Boy said.

"Well you would know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Shakey said as he and Beast Boy followed Raven. Shakey turned around and called Meatwad. "Meatwad, get your ass in gear!" he exclaimed.

"Just a minute," he said as he picked up the baseball bat and hit the Hellknight again. "That was for canceling the 'Wayan's Brother's'; that was a good show. Let's not forget Kazam too."

"Meatwad!" Shakey exclaimed.

"I'm comin'," he said as he dropped the bat and followed Shakey.


	3. Chapter 3

They arrived at the scene to see Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Frylock standing around. "So, what's the problem?" Beast Boy asked

"We were right when we said it was Le Blanc behind this," Robin said. "He grabbed some of the French paintings and took off. Before we could get to him, some demons showed up and got in our way."

"Where are they now?" Raven asked.

"Well, they're gone," Cyborg said.

"So, you called us over here for nothing?" Shake asked. "Well thanks for nothing, Michael Moore."

"What did you find?" Frylock asked.

"Well, all we found was that Scream painting by Thelonius Monk," Meatwad said. "Y'know, the guy with OCD."

"I may not be familiar with the artists of paintings, but that doesn't sound right," Starfire said.

"I've always wondered what that guy was screaming about," Frylock mentioned.

"Maybe he was screaming because they were planning on bringing back Full House," Meatwad suggested.

"Don't even joke about that, Meatwad," Shake said.

"Also, we met Rafael Palmiero and me and Shake beat him up and we saw those two making out," Meatwad said pointing towards Raven and Beast Boy.

"WHAT!" the Titans and Frylock shouted together.

"It's true; I've got photographic proof," Shake said, "and now to get my clearly doctored photos."

"Beast Boy and Raven…" Cyborg asked.

"…together?" Robin finished.

"It's not what you think," Beast Boy said.

"I think we should split up to find these demons," Frylock said.

"Let's do it in same groups," Shake suggested.

"That's not fair!" Beast Boy and Raven shouted.

"That sounds like a good idea," Cyborg said as they headed off. "You two don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said whispering to Raven and Beast Boy. They glared at him but before they could say anything, Cyborg was gone. That left the two of them with Master Shake and Meatwad.

"Let's go find Rafael Palmiero again," Meatwad said.

"Maybe he knows something about these 'demons'," Shake said. "Maybe it's MC Pee Pants again, trying to release demons from Hell upon the Earth and start a global diet-pill pyramid scheme."

"He could be onto something there," Meatwad said.

"I highly doubt it," Raven said.

"Who is this MC Pee Pants?" Beast Boy asked.

"It's a long story," Meatwad said.

"Let's get going," Shake said. "Oh, and by the way: we'll go ahead while you two do your thing."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Raven asked.

"Nothing inappropriate, that much is for certain," Shake said, "for lovers such as yourselves I might add."

"I'll tell you this once: there is nothing between us," Raven said. "Even if there was, I wouldn't tell you."

"So, is there something between us?" Beast Boy asked. After he said this, Raven kneed him in the crotch and stomped off.

"Damn, she's got emotional problems," Shake said.

She halted and turned around. "What did you say?" She demanded.

"Nothing that should matter to you," Shake said.

"Listen and listen closely: if you want to stay on my good side, you'll shut your Goddamn mouth," Raven said. As she said this, a building erupted behind her.

"Oh my God; she's a witch," Shake said. "Somebody call somebody. Get Reverend Hale over here quick."

"You're not gonna get a good response outta him," Meatwad said. "He's usually like this."

"So we know," Raven said.

"Don't we have some important work to do?" Beast Boy asked.

"Finally, something smart came from him," Raven said.

"So why don't ya reward him with a kiss?" Shake asked. "Or maybe you could give him a…"

"Let's just go," Meatwad said, "he's just gonna get cruder."

"I don't wanna patronize him either," Beast Boy said.

"Yet again, another smart thing from Beast Boy," Raven said; Shake looked at her preparing another crude comment. "I'll just quit talking."

"Let's just get this shit over with," Shake said. Shake led the way while Meatwad followed. Beast Boy and Raven stayed back awhile, wondering if they actually had feelings for each other. Shake turned around and said, "Hey, lovers! Get your asses over here."

"We're not lovers!" Beast Boy and Raven said together. Shake turned around and headed off followed by Meatwad. Raven and Beast Boy followed and they looked like they were holding hands.


	4. Chapter 4

"Goddamit, he's gone," Shake exclaimed as they returned to where the Hellknight appeared.

"Who's gone?" Meatwad asked.

"Rafael Palmiero; who do you think I was talking about, Michael Moore?"

"Naw, he'd be too hard to loose." Beast Boy and Raven appeared shortly after; Meatwad turned around to look at the two and said, "I knew it!"

"What is it?" Raven and Beast Boy asked quickly separating their hands away from each other.

"I knew you had candy on you," Meatwad said.

The two sighed with relief and Raven said, "We don't have any candy."

"Don't think I'm dumb, I knows when someone has candy; it's like a sixth sense."

"Six cents won't get this mystery solved," Shake said.

"What mystery?" Beast Boy asked. "A demon appeared right here, you guys beat it up, and it disappeared."

"Yeah, but the mystery is: where did Rafael Palmiero go?" Shake said indignantly.

"He owes me several dollars for lying to me," Meatwad said.

Beast Boy leaned over to Raven and whispered, "Are these guys retarded of what?"

"'Or what' is my question," Raven answered.

"We should look for clues," Shake said.

"What clues?" Beast Boy asked.

"Clues such as a used syringe or a bottle of pills or even an 'I beat the Yankee's and all I got was a stupid shirt' shirt. Anything that'll help us find Rafael Palmiero."

Beast Boy whispered to Raven, "Should we tell him that that was not Rafael Palmiero?"

"We'll let him figure it out on his own," Raven said.

"Look what I found," Meatwad said in the distance.

The other three rushed over to where Meatwad was. "What is it?" Shake asked.

"I found this statue of Rafael Palmiero," Meatwad said standing next to a Hellknight. Beast Boy and Raven were stricken with horror but Shake was filled with something else. Another Hellknight stood behind it. "I also found a statue of Barry Bonds."

"Meatwad those aren't statues," Shake said, "Those are actually Rafael Palmiero and Barry Bonds."

"Really? I didn't know I was standing next to greatness."

"They aren't so great, those steroid using junkies. Hey! Try playing without enhancements, you cheap bastards." The Hellknight jumped towards Shake and roared at him. "Maybe we could talk some more, if that's fine with you," Shake said.

The second Hellknight threw a fireball at the two Titans. Raven deflected it back and it hit Meatwad, cooking him slowly. "Mmmm, somethin' smells good," he said. Meatwad took a whiff of what smelt good and said, "Oh damn, it's me. Someone put me out, put me out."

Beast Boy transformed into a gorilla and took the Hellknights out while Meatwad was running around and Shake was laughing at Meatwad's disposition. Raven put Meatwad out and said, "I wonder what's up with them this time?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Shake said. "These baseball players have taken too many steroids and now they're trying to kill everyone who accused them of taking steroids. What's next: basketball players are gonna attack people just because they accused them of having sex with white girls? Are hockey players gonna attack people who say hockey sucks?"

"That much is true though," Meatwad said.

"Maybe I should explain this to you in layman's terms," Raven said, "Those things were not baseball players hopped-up on steroids, they were demons."

"Now just because they took steroids don't mean that they're condemned to Hell," Meatwad said.

"Yeah, where do you get off on that?" Shake asked.

"This is going to take longer than I thought," Raven said.

Before Raven could say anything else, two Pinkies spawned in front of them. "So are you gonna tell me that those are the baseball player's dogs, and they've been feeding them steroids?" Beast Boy asked.

"Maybe they do make a point Shake," Meatwad said.

"Quick grab what we came for and run," Shake said as he grabbed the Scream painting and darted off. Meatwad ran off behind him.

"I guess we'll have to take care of this ourselves," Raven said. She and Beast Boy took care of the Pinkies with one blow of their powers. "Now to get those idiots," she said referring to Shake and Meatwad. Her communicator went off and she answered it. "What is it Robin?"

"Those demons from before are back," he said. "You better get here as soon as you can." Robin turned the line off and so did Raven.

"Guess we better get goin'," Beast Boy said.

"First, let's take care of these idiots," Raven said pointing towards Shake and Meatwad.


	5. Chapter 5

As the quartet arrived to where the rest of the Titans (and Frylock) were, they also saw a multitude of Imps and Maggots that they were fighting. There were also some new demons that resembled floating shark heads attacking the Titans by spewing fireballs from their mouths. "Hope we're not too late," Beast Boy said as he and Raven joined the fight.

"Actually, you're just in time," Cyborg said as he blasted an Imp to ashes. Shake and Meatwad just stood there watching the Titans fight these monstrosities.

"When are you two gonna join in?" Frylock asked.

"I'd love to but I'm just too young for this shit," Meatwad said. "Besides, I have a girl at home, I still haven't gotten that 'Action Hank' doll from Santa yet, and I haven't even started on my retirement plan."

"What about you, Shake?"

"Well, I'd love to help, but I don't see how this affects me," Shake said.

"So, if it _does_ affect you, you would help?"

"Actually…no, I wouldn't."

"So you two are just gonna watch, huh?"

"Yep, that's the plan," Shake said. "Besides, my back has been acting up and I'm afraid that it'll break."

"Yeah, thanks a lot you lazy SOB!" Frylock exclaimed.

"You're welcome; I mean after all I do for you, you just call me names like that?" Shake said. "Well screw you, you heartless bastard." Shake walked off but an Imp cut him off. "Actually, I was thinking of staying awhile."

The Titans were doing well so far on the demons but there didn't seem to be an end to the constant flow of demons. "We're gonna have to fall back," Robin said.

"Not if I can help it," a voice said and out of nowhere, Adam West flew in from his grappling hook.

"Is that Adam West?" Shake asked. "Finally, a celebrity who doesn't need to use drugs to be a better person."

"I'll take you all on or my name isn't Errol Flynn," Adam West said.

"Actually your name isn't Errol Flynn," Meatwad said.

"Really, 'cause that's a stupid name anyways," West said. He took out his bat-arang and threw it at several Imps, dismembering their limbs in the process. He then took them out with his punches one by one; the Titans viewed his technique in bewilderment.

"Aren't you tired yet?" Robin asked.

"Nonsense, I could do this all day," he said as he continued fighting the demons. Eventually there were none left and all that remained were the ashes of the fallen demons. He dusted off the ashes that were on him and said, "Now that that's out of the way: to the movie store." He took out his grappling hook, fired it, and took off.

There was a few seconds of silence before Meatwad said, "I gotta get me one of those; he has one because he's a star."

"Well, Le Blanc got away, but we'll get him next time," Robin said.

"Yeah, about that," Shake said, "there won't be a 'next time'. This is too much action and life-endangerment for me, I mean, for _us_ to handle. We best be on our way."

"But I wanted some pizza before we left," Meatwad said.

"I said: 'let's go'!" Shake said angrily.

"Well, at least we had some good times," Meatwad said.

"We didn't really have any good times, Meatwad," Frylock said.

"I know, I just said that for positive feedback."

"Well, I guess we're off," Frylock said.

"Take one of these," Robin said handing Frylock a Teen Titans communicator, "just in case we need your help again."

"We'll keep in touch," Frylock said as the Aqua Teens headed off. The last thing that the Titans heard before heading back to the tower was the argument the Aqua Teens had over the communicator.

"They just gave you that?" Shake asked. "Does it have an MP3 player?"

"No, it's just a communicator," Frylock responded.

"Well, I'd get my money back," Meatwad said. "If it don't got no MP3 player on it, I ain't worth havin'."

(Back at Titans Tower)

Cyborg was checking the scanners for Le Blanc. "There's no sign of him anywhere."

"Maybe we should try again tomorrow," Starfire suggested.

"Good idea; we'll check back tomorrow." Robin said. "There is one thing though that puzzles me: how did those demons get back here?"

The Titans thought this over and after a few seconds of solemn silence, Raven said, "That's for another day; let's just get some sleep."

Cyborg turned on the security system and turned the lights off. "Guess it's time for some shut-eye; we'll work on finding Le Blanc tomorrow."

One by one, the Titans left the living room. Raven was the last to leave but she stopped and looked around the room. Beast Boy turned around and asked, "What is it?"

"I just thought I heard something, but it's probably nothing," she said and followed Beast Boy out of the room. As the door shut, the computer screen turned crimson red and created a pentagram with three words, which looked like they had been written in blood, below it:

"All Shall Suffer."


End file.
